Today I want to take a closer look at a key component to Dialectical Behavior Therapy; that being – DBT What Skills. So without further-a-do, let’s jump into the 3 elements that make up this overall exercise; and also discuss some examples of how you can put each one into practice yourself. Ready? Let’s go!

Observe

Observing is about sensing or experiencing without describing or labeling what you notice. It’s challenging at first, but it helps quiet the mind. With practice, you’ll be able to notice things without your mind constantly chattering.

Watching your thoughts without getting swept up in them is tricky. It’s easy to fall into rumination, preoccupation, or obsession. Try stepping back a bit, but stay connected to yourself. Aim for slight detachment, not shutting down completely.

It’s tempting to react to your thoughts while observing. Unpleasant emotions might make you want to escape the moment, while pleasant ones might make you want to hang onto it. The real challenge is to experience the moment without judging it. Let your thoughts pass by without labeling them as good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. Just let them be.

Achieving “Teflon Mind” with DBT What Skills

DBT describes the goal of observing as having a “Teflon Mind.” Just like Teflon creates a non-stick surface on cookware, a Teflon Mind lets experiences, feelings, and thoughts slip in and out without sticking. This approach helps many people cope with intense emotions. Distressing events and feelings often get stuck in our minds. A Teflon Mind helps you notice painful thoughts without clinging to them. Let your thoughts slide off your mind, like a fried egg off a non-stick pan.

DBT What Skills #1 – Observing Painful Thoughts

When you practice observing, you might encounter thoughts that trigger painful emotions like guilt, shame, anxiety, and sadness. This is normal. Practising this skill can help you overcome these emotions.

Mindfulness is similar to the technique of exposure. Exposure helps people face their fears gradually, reducing their fear over time. By slowly facing what you fear, you can overcome it bit by bit. Mindfulness works the same way with thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It helps you lessen their grip on you. By observing them come and go, you learn they are temporary. This reduces the intensity of your emotions.

Observe Exercises

• Imagine you’re a palace guard at the gate, watching everyone who comes and goes. These people are your thoughts. You don’t stop anyone, you just watch.
• Picture your thoughts as clouds drifting by in the sky. Lie in the grass and watch them come and go.
• Imagine your thoughts are like leaves floating down a river. Sit on the bank and watch them pass by without reaching in to grab them.
• Observe what you can feel through your five senses.
• When doing the dishes, notice how the hot water and suds feel on your hands. Feel each dish as you wash and rinse it.
• Place one hand on a cool surface and the other on a warm one (not hot, perhaps a part of a table warmed by the sun). Notice the difference.
• Track how long you can observe. It’s common to start and restart the clock many times.

DBT What Skills #2 – Describe

The next skill in the What Mindfulness group is Describing. Describing means putting words to what you observe, labelling the experience without judgment. For example, while washing dishes, you might say to yourself, “The water is grey. The soap feels slippery in my hands. The dish is hot.”

Using words to describe events and your responses helps you label what’s happening around you and your reactions to it. Being able to describe how you feel and act when you’re nervous, anxious, upset, impatient, fearful, excited, or tired helps you see the connections between yourself and your environment more clearly. Combining observing and describing can keep you in the present moment and help you focus on what you can do now to improve your situation.

Utilizing Describe to Label Emotions

We can also use Describing to label our feelings. For example, you might say, “I feel disappointed about missing the party. I feel happy to see my friend. I feel sad.” Being able to verbally describe feelings like disappointment is essential for communicating our thoughts and feelings to others and managing them ourselves.

It’s important to remember not to take your thoughts and emotions as facts. Feeling afraid doesn’t necessarily mean something is dangerous or threatening. Our fear might come from an experience or something related to the current situation. Having a thought or feeling doesn’t make it a fact. For instance, thinking “No one likes me” or “I am unlovable” doesn’t mean these statements are true. They are just thoughts or feelings. While these thoughts and feelings are real and valid, that doesn’t make them facts.

Describe Exercises

• Choose a daily experience like cooking a meal, going for a walk, or walking your dog. As you engage in this activity, simply observe it without judging or evaluating it. Describe what you see, hear, and feel. What details stand out to you?
• Keep a journal for a day or several days, jotting down what you do and how you feel. Doing this over an extended time can be exceptionally useful. You can then look back on your diary entries to see how things change over time, and how far you’ve progressed!
• Imagine your mind as a conveyor belt with thoughts and feelings cruising along. Your task is to sort these into labelled boxes. For instance, you might have a box for bodily sensations and another for urges.
• Try one of the exercises listed for observing, but this time, add labels and descriptions to the experience.

DBT What Skills #3 – Participate

Select a daily activity like cooking a meal, going for a walk, or walking your dog. As you engage in it, simply observe without judgment. Describe what you see, hear, and feel. What details stand out?

Keep a journal for a day or several days, noting what you do and how you feel.

Imagine your mind as a conveyor belt with thoughts and feelings cruising along. Your task is to sort them into labelled boxes. For instance, you might have a box for bodily sensations and another for urges.

Try one of the observing exercises, but this time, add labels and descriptions to the experience.

Participate Exercises

Engage in something you do often, like washing dishes, driving, mowing the lawn, or eating. Fully immerse yourself in the activity. Concentrate intently. Take note of every detail and strive to perform the task with precision. How does it feel for you?

Take an egg and attempt to balance it on its smaller side on a flat surface. It’s achievable, but it requires considerable focus. Allow yourself to become absorbed in the activity.

DBT What Skills: Conclusion

Ultimately the DBT What Skills of observe, describe and participate are part of a wider set of 4 skills present throughout the dialectal behavioural therapy course. The author of DBT Skills Training – Handouts & Worksheets Vol 2; Marsha. M. Linehan explains below.

So there you have it guys & girls, I hope this is useful to anyone looking to utilize ‘What Skills‘ for the first time, and also for people who are simply looking for a refresher course on this topic. I encourage you to try out the exercises listed in this blog post for all three stages – or even to come up with some of your own. Let us know in the comments how you get on! Keep on keeping on.

Sources – I. Marsha M. Linehan Discussing What Skills DBT II. Wikipedia DBT Dialectal Behavior Therapy